Why Customer Service is Secretly the Worst Thing Ever

Here's the scenario: You are babysitting a little boy named Tommy. Tommy's parents have given you a list of rules to follow, dinner is in the fridge, and bedtime is at 8. You are expected to provide every service to Tommy while staying within the parameters set by the parents. If you do well, you will get paid.

This isn't a perfect comparison, but it is similar to working in a customer service job. You are expected to follow and enforce the rules, you are given the proper tools and knowledge necessary to help customers, you are in charge, and at the same time, you are there to serve the needs of others.

It seems like a simple enough concept: help the customers as much as you can. Unfortunately, many times restrictions or rules prevent employees from giving the customers exactly what they want. When this occurs, it puts employees in an awkward situation. If they ignore the rules and listen to the customer, they could be reprimanded by their boss or worse,lose their job. On the other hand, if they stick to the rules, the customer might get upset and they run the risk of losing business. Companies know that having angry customers looks bad. This is why the focus of customer service has changed from “help the customers as much as you can” to “keep the customer happy at all costs.”

Back to Tommy. After dinner, Tommy comes up to you, kicks you in the leg and demands that you give him a chocolate chip cookie. What do you do? When dealing with a child, the answer is obvious: Unless Tommy is polite and respectful, you’re not going to give him what he wants. Why? Because if you give him what he’s asking for when he’s rude and violent, you’re rewarding his bad behavior.

I’m not saying that businesses should refuse service to impolite customers. While some places withhold the right to deny service, if they denied every person they didn’t like, they would either become the second Soup nazi, or quickly go out of business. As much as we might want to sometimes, it isn’t an employee’s place to reprimand annoying customers as if they were children. But jerky customers get their food spit in and everybody hates them, right? Actually, I’ve observed that customers who act terribly get specials treatment as opposed to those who don’t put up a fight. Businesses don’t want customers complaining, so usually it’s better to break or bend a rule than not give the customer what they want. And if a customer is already upset, then they get better treatment, in order to keep them from getting more angry than they already are.

Tommy walks up to you at 9 pm. Despite the fact you put him to bed an hour ago, he asks if he can watch T.V. You tell him no. If you’ve ever been around a young child when the word “no” is used, you know just how well it goes over. I can personally vouch that my two-year old nephew not only knows what “no” means, but is capable of bursting into sudden and violent fits just by hearing it.

We would hope that most would grow out of this habit by the time they reach the age of 7, but unfortunately this is not always the case. If you are going to work in customer service, DO NOT use this word when addressing the customers! Much like with children, this word is taboo in almost all customer service positions. If the person you are helping asks something along the lines of “ can you (insert task here)” your answer must always be either “Yes” or “Let me check,” Even if you know you can’t. If you say “no” to any customer for any reason, 9 times out of 10 they will ask for a manager. They don’t care that you’ve been working there for 2 years, have a Ph.D. in Law, or cured world hunger; If you don’t give them what they want, they’ll assume that you don’t know what you’re talking about and will go over your head.

Tommy’s parents come home late. When they walk in the door, Tommy bursts from his room and cries about how mean you were to him, you wouldn’t give him any cookies and you wouldn’t let him watch T.V. You of course explain what happened to Tommy’s parents, and they understand. You get paid and go home.

When customers talk to managers, as an employee I always hope that my manager sides with me. It’s always a toss between bending the rules to keep the customer complaisant, or sticking to the regulations and risk an unhappy shopper. Ultimately, it becomes the manager’s decision. If you think about it, this entire situation is set up to leave employees bitter towards the customers they’re supposed to be helping. As an employee you want to follow the rules, and when customers ask you to break or bend those rules it’s difficult because you don’t want to get in trouble. At the same time, it’s not up to you because the customer most likely won’t listen to you anyways. If the manager tells you to make the exception, you feel undermined and the customer believes that you were wrong and didn’t know what you were talking about. The next time that customer comes, there’s no chance they’ll listen to you ever again. If the manager sides with you, then you get this sort of satisfaction of knowing that you were right, but it builds animosity towards customers, as if you were working against them, rather than trying to help them.